I’m a very social person. I love people and I love making others happy. Sometimes, however, I place making people happy above my own needs, mental health and priorities – this is when it gets dangerous.

The deepest pain I ever felt was denying my own feelings to make everyone else comfortable.

People pleasing is a toxic, addicting habit that is difficult to overcome. The reality of it is, pleasing people still doesn’t please them. We can bend over backward and sacrifice everything to others and still, it won’t be enough. So why is it so easy to become obsessed with pleasing people, when it’s actually impossible and damaging to our mental health and overall well-being?

I can’t speak for everyone, but I know the roots of my people pleasing tendencies come from a need to feel loved and appreciated. In my mind, if I can please and make others happy, they will show me love in return. This expectation of reciprocation has ended up hurting me more times than I can count. I’ve found it more often leads to being taken advantage of and taken for granted.

The damages of people pleasing are real and should not be taken lightly. If you care more about the opinions of others more than the priority of your mental health, you will likely break at the slightest pressure. Not to mention, chasing the approval of others who don’t benefit you will drain your energy.

Working to rid yourself of this toxic habit will allow you to focus on whose opinion should really matter in your life: your own.

If you are a victim to people pleasing like me, practice these steps to take back your power and make yourself a priority again!

  • SAY NO. The next time someone asks something of you, say no. You’ll notice that the world does not end after you deny assistance to someone! Learning to say no is a difficult, freeing experience.
  • DO SOMETHING FOR YOU. Instead of being so fixated on others, try focusing on yourself for a change! You are worthy of love, too. Do something that makes you genuinely happy and shower yourself with the same love you’ve been showering everyone else with.
  • ANALYZE YOUR FEARS. Spend some time self-reflecting to determine what the roots of your people-pleaser tendencies are. Is it low self esteem? A need for validation? Seeking love and approval? Understanding why you developed people-pleasing as a habit will help you to break it.
  • SET BOUNDARIES. Boundaries will keep you from getting manipulated and taken advantage of. Knowing ahead of time what you should and shouldn’t do is a good place to start. Determine what you’re willing to do for others, and what is asking too much of you.

Say it with me: people pleasing is no longer an option because I am adopting the radical belief that my ideas, thoughts and feelings matter too.


Keeping indoor plants alive: easier said than done!

I used to have a black thumb. I couldn’t even be trusted with a succulent, supposedly the easiest plant on the planet to take care of. If I even looked at a plant, its leaves turned brown and droopy.

If this resonates with you, don’t worry! A green thumb is acquired, not inherited. There was hope for me and there is definitely hope for you as well.


The biggest mistake I made early on was assuming all I needed to do was water my plants and make sure they got sunlight. While that is true, there’s a lot more thought that goes into caring for indoor plants! Here are some of the mistakes I made:

  • OVERWATERING. I assumed all my plants needed to be watered in the same way – wrong! Watering my cactus at the same frequency as my peperomia resulted in a very dead cactus. Make sure to research how much water your plants need before you accidentally commit murder!
  • SUNLIGHT. After I killed my cactus, I then killed my peperomia by not placing it in a sunny spot! It was on a table that got maybe a sliver of light but definitely not enough. After I moved it to the window, it got so much healthier. Look into your plant’s sunlight needs the same way you do for watering!
  • CHECKING THE ROOTS. It’s ironic I neglected to check the roots of my plants considering they’re the feeding organ of the plant. If your house plant is looking a little sad, check the roots! They may be outgrowing their pot and need to be repotted in a larger container.
  • REPOTTING. Repotting your plants is so important! It ensures their new pot is big enough for their roots, gives them fresh soil, allows for better watering and prevents diseases.

Here’s to keeping plants alive for longer than five seconds. You grow girl!